‘Misogyny’ is more than just a word: my open letter to Dominic Raab
Dear Mr Raab,
I’ve dipped into the media coverage of your ‘misogyny gaffe’ throughout the day today. You’re all over the news websites. Many of my fellow feminist criminologists and women’s rights advocates are giving you something of a hard time on social media. There’s a lot of eyerolling going on. Earlier today, I too was doing a lot of sighing and saying, “Urgh, says it all doesn’t it?”.
I won’t repeat Sally Nugent’s clarification of the dictionary definition of ‘misogyny’, which she helpfully provided for you this morning. You’re probably well aware now that misogyny isn’t gender neutral.
But I don’t think that vilifying you is going to get us anywhere. Your Freudian slip this morning is merely an indicator of a bigger underlying problem: violence against women and girls continues to be the poor relation in policy circles. It doesn’t matter. It’s not an important, urgent issue. Therefore, no one at your level bothers to read up on it, or have an assistant do so and provide you with a one-page summary.
Occasionally, governments like yours will chuck us feminists a few little crumbs to satiate our demands for action and change, hoping that we’ll shut up and go away so you can crack on with the real business of running a country. Like the recent Domestic Abuse Act, which is essentially a heavily diluted version of changes that would make a genuine difference and address the drivers of domestic abuse, rather than just managing the symptoms.
People were outraged at the Sarah Everard case this year. Campaigners, academics and advocates made a right old noise about it. They didn’t go away. So, your government felt compelled to do something about it, or at least appear to be doing something about it. Your colleague, Home Secretary Priti Patel spoke at length earlier this week about how vital it is that we tackle violence against women and girls. She announced an inquiry into how Sarah Everard’s killer was able to work as a police officer. However, what will be the outcome? A report that does the rounds for a few days then disappears. A list of recommendations and more ‘lessons to learn’? But ultimately, nothing changes.
Pieces of paper like new legislation and inquiry reports won’t tackle misogyny. They won’t keep women safe or prevent abuse or violence. Those men who feel entitled to harm women, whose values and beliefs are shared by colleagues, friends and family, will continue to be abusive, controlling and violent.
Only cultural change will tackle misogyny, and that will likely take a generation or two. It involves changes to what we teach children in schools. It involves genuine recognition of women’s contribution to society through things like addressing the gender pay gap. It involves ensuring that whatever choices women make around partnerships and families, they don’t end up paying a penalty for it. It involves changing our attitudes so that women’s value, worth and wellbeing does not hinge on the ‘success’ of their relationships with men. It involves kicking the centuries-old habit of holding women responsible for men’s behavior. Big stuff, I know. Stuff that’s way beyond the lifespan of the current Conservative administration – which is probably why your government doesn’t seem that bothered by it.
Misogyny isn’t just about ‘insults’. It’s an ideology, it’s a set of values and beliefs. Among those values and beliefs are the idea that women are subordinate to men, that they exist for men, that they are there to serve men. Sure, men who hold these views will insult women, but that’s not all they will do. That’s the mild end of the spectrum.
Those men who chuck out a few ‘insults’ don’t then automatically revert to normal, psychologically healthy pro-equality guys once they’ve had a good old sexist vent. These men don’t have respectful, pleasant interactions based on mutuality and consent with the women in their lives. They are arseholes to any woman who has the misfortune of being in an intimate relationship with them – after they’ve put on the charm offensive in the early days, that is. They are shitty to women they work with, blocking their promotions, giving them the rubbish tasks and maybe even trying it on with them. At home, they’ll be lazy, entitled dickheads, who in some cases, will engage in behavior that would be classed as domestic abuse or coercive control. Some won’t need to resort to physical violence because they’ll be able to achieve control in other ways, via isolation, economic abuse and psychological manipulation.
Really understanding misogyny involves developing a sound understanding of how women experience it. As Kelly and Stanko[i] articulated in the 1980s, getting to grips with this this isn’t just about our immediate response to apparently ‘rare’ events like Sarah Everard’s murder or how we reprimand people for ‘throwaway’ sexist comments. It’s about looking at these symptoms of misogyny collectively, in context, as patterns of behaviour, rather than as separate, unrelated, ‘isolated’ incidents. It’s about recognizing a continuum of behaviours, which are all driven by a misogynistic belief system.
How that belief system is ultimately enacted will depend upon individual, familial, community and societal factors. Some men will be vile to women without ever laying a finger on them. Others will kill their female partners. Two women a week are killed by partners or ex-partners in England and Wales. In the time you’ve been at your conference, at least one woman will have lost her life in this way. Her killer will be a misogynist. Guaranteed.
What I’m trying to do here is start the process of educating you about misogyny. Not in a condescending, patronizing way, but in a “You really need to know your shit as Secretary of State for Justice” kind of way.
Seriously, Mr Raab, you and your colleagues need to learn about misogyny. You need to understand its roots, its context, its effects. You need to really comprehend what it means for abuse and violence to be gendered.
The best place to start is to do some reading. I’ve made a few recommendations below in ‘Raab’s Reading List’ to get you started, which my colleagues will no doubt helpfully add to once I post this letter on social media. Then talk to the women in your life about their experiences. Your female colleagues in the Conservative Party will certainly have a few interesting things to share with you, as will your wife, female relatives and friends. After that, please make arrangements to go and visit some of the leading organizations in tackling violence against women – Refuge and Women’s Aid should be first on your list.
Men are important allies in tackling misogyny, so please make it a priority to genuinely understand what it’s all about. It’s more than just a word.
Raab’s Reading List
Bates, L. (2020). Men Who Hate Women. London: Simon and Schuster.
Criado-Perez, C. (2019). Invisible Women: Exposing data bias in a world designed for men. London: Penguin Random House.
Hill, J. (2020). See What You Made Me Do. London: Hurst and Company.
Horley, S. (2017). Power And Control: Why Charming Men Can Make Dangerous Lovers. London: Vermillion.
Smith, J. (2013). Misogynies. London: The Westbourne Press.
[i] Kelly, E. (1988). Surviving Sexual Violence. Minneapolis, MN: University of Minnesota Press.
Stanko, E. (1985). Intimate Intrusions: Women’s experiences of male violence. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul.
